The topic of the week was the Bible and everyone seemed to want to get into it so much more than before. We looked into strange stories, looked into context, and how strange it would be if we put ourselves in those same situations. You can believe there were a lot of laughs. Our seventh week has come to an end and looking back on what I've all learned in my time here is completely amazing.
What we talked about this week wasn't emotionally draining, for once. However, there seemed to be a lot of processing going on from previous weeks that caught up on me. I can't particularly pinpoint what made me a total mess this week, but it got pretty difficult. Honestly, I struggled a lot with feeling like God had abandoned me in the past. Knowing that isn't true and believing it in my heart are two different things. This came up a lot when I was reading about Hagar and Ishmael. Sarah's servant, who gave birth to a child by Abraham. She had called out to God saying "You are the One who sees me" and I felt like I couldn't speak that out for myself. I felt like He hadn't really seen me this past year. I know He's always here and will never leave me, but feelings are sometimes not related to logic and I still have a hard time tying the two together.
Honestly, I don't have a huge sense of what was a highlight and what was a low light. It all mixed in together and I have trouble differentiating. Something that was super amazing was that we learned how to go about studying the Bible and different tricks and tips. It became something that was super fun and exciting, even when I was really frustrated with God, as I was for the majority of the week. Something that I realized though later on and that someone helped me to realize was that a lot of my frustration stemmed from not knowing what to do or where to go in the next part of my journey. It was bluntly revealed to me that I needed to just stop thinking, stop trying to understand everything, and just let God do His work. I've had a really hard time with this.
On Friday morning, we studied the book of Philemon. How it was sent to a man name Philemon and that it was about Philemon being asked to forgive his slave for running away, his slave being the one who'd delivered the letter. It showed me a lot in the area of forgiveness. And it also showed me that if I ask for forgiveness for something and the person chooses not to forgive, that it's not my issue anymore. It's theirs. I do my part of reaching out, they choose what they desire, and either way I've done my part in bringing unity. It was super relieving and enlightening to learn that.
We have just five weeks left until our outreach now and you can bet the countdown is on! If you're wanting to donate still, contact my mother or father and they can help you out with that. :) Thank you all so much for your support and continued prayers. They are SO appreciated!
- Naomi
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
I Die Daily
Another week comes and goes. We've just
finished our sixth week and are officially halfway through our
lecture phase. It's been a crazy month and a half since I arrived and
I've definitely changed more than I can say. Which I'm very happy
about! This week the topic was about missions and it was super
inspiring. We all felt so excited every morning when it was time for
the lecture to start.
When someone hears the word missions,
they often picture some poor Jesus freak who doesn't have anything
but works for free. Or they think of the complete opposite. Someone
who gets money from other people but usually spends it on themselves
while working for the community they're in. That's generally the
picture I get. However, as we read through the book of Acts this
week, I found my view on it changing for the better. Our speaker made
it seem to come alive to us and inspired us in so many ways.
What consistently stood out to me was
the persecution that the apostles and disciples of Christ had to go
through while they spoke out on how they felt about their faith. They
were beaten, scourged, burned, crucified, and a number of other
things, yet when they were told to stop speaking, they responded with
“We cannot stop speaking on the things we have seen and heard,”
which completely captivated me. It really got me thinking on whether
or not my faith has been real to me if I'm not willing to die for
what I believe. Paul wrote that he “dies daily” and that phrase
is on my mind constantly even as I write this. At the end of this
week, we had a chance to respond to what God was saying in our lives.
I really felt as though I was being told “Lay down what others want
for you and look to what I want for you.” I was pretty shocked when
that came because I thought that in me coming here, I'd laid down a
lot. I think though, in a lot of ways that was only the beginning of
what God is wanting me to lay down for Him. It's hard to put into
words how this week made me feel but to put it simply, it warmed and
captivated my heart. I truly felt myself coming alive.
There were a lot of things that came
up, a lot I had to fight against this week. Spiritual warfare came
strongly in my life and I found myself quite sick over the past
weekend and the first couple of days of the week. Though I wasn't
sick with a flu or anything, I couldn't keep food down and walked
around like I hadn't slept all night, even though the reality was
that I'd slept more than enough. I had a few people here pray for me
and many from home also keeping me in their prayers which I believe
truly helped me out the most.
There was also a lot of talk about
forgiveness and repentance this week which threw me off quite a lot
because of how deep I found conviction truly goes. I'm someone who
feels convicted easily and the previous week we'd had to make a list
of what we needed to openly repent to God for and people we needed to
forgive. The repentance list was not a short list and the forgiving
list went deeper than I thought. On Wednesday, we all sat in a circle
with our lists and took turns praying out to God for forgiveness and
that we chose to forgive the people who'd hurt us in our past. This
was probably the most freeing thing I have ever done in my
relationship with God. To openly admit to past sins, turn away from
them, and then choose to offer the same forgiveness God gives to
other people, it has an incredible affect! I don't think I've been
the same since this day. My heart is full of more joy, freedom, and
graciousness than before. We were encouraged to make it right if we
felt convicted with something we'd done in our lives, and many people
made the step to that which was so inspiring to see and experience!
Though it was all very difficult to walk into, we came out with a
much stronger bond, knowing there were no secrets between us, but
also no judgement either. Just acceptance, love, and encouragement.
There's been times this week that I've
felt a little homesick. Sometimes I'll be listening to music and a
country song will pop up and I'll remember those times at home when
I'd speed down the roads, listening to country music, singing along
at the top of my lungs. Or when my Mama writes me “Oh, we're having
chicken noodle soup for dinner and then having a Netflix night.”
and I get a flashback to when my parents and I would be sitting
together just talking and laughing. I miss workdays with my Papa,
climbing ladders, using nail guns, lifting and moving things bigger
than my little body, not being able to keep paint off myself, and
sometimes even that terrible glue that would stick to my hands for
days. I miss dancing for hours on end every weekend, teasing my
siblings, sitting at the piano to sing and write, and movie/Starbucks
dates with friends. Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever
already and will I ever be home? Other times I sit in amazement that
it's already been six weeks and has so much really changed in my
heart?
Despite feeling homesick, God is at
work. A mix of emotions this week has really shown me that God is
stable, that He is the one thing that will never change when
everything around me does. He's a comfort. He's a strong tower.
Sacrificing what I need to in order to live and die for Christ is an
honor.
For those amazing prayer warriors who
come alongside my journey from home, pray against homesickness. Pray
that I can live in this moment and enjoy it for what it truly is.
Pray against spiritual warfare that is around all of us here. Pray
for the rest of my outreach money to come!!! (Still accepting
donations for those interested in giving.) I believe God provides and
answers prayers, so please be praying for that. :) That's all, folks!
“To live is Christ. To die is gain.”
-Naomi
Friday, February 13, 2015
An Undivided Heart
Woah! Another week has flown by. So unbelievable how fast the time goes by here. The weeks are going by insanely fast and it's hard to believe we've just finished our fifth week of lecture phase. I've been learning so much! This week our topic was on the Fear of God. We had the base director of YWAM Perth come and speak to us on it and it was a super challenging topic to discuss at times but at the same time, extremely interesting.
It's hard sometimes to get my thoughts together and focused to write something but I'm super eager to share what we've been learning here this week. We've been introduced to tons of scripture on the Fear of God and it's be such a learning experience going through it all together and having someone talk about it. I'd have to say a highlight from this week would be not having fear of men, but fear of God. In my life, I've often gone to other people on confirmation on what I should be doing instead of going to God. When I've felt convicted of doing something wrong, I've been afraid of seeking out God and instead I've gone to others and asked for direction, counsel, guidance. This week I've been practicing going to God for it and it's led me to making a ton of steps towards forgiveness and repentance towards others. When I've felt convicted of something, I spend time with Him in prayer or just waiting on His voice and it never ceases to amaze me how especially present He is in those times! This has probably been one of the most important lessons to me in my step towards healing. I'm learning how to focus on not being afraid of others judging me and what I do because the only thing I should be concerned of is if I'm honoring God in what I do. And it was that very thing that led me to making some super important decisions in regards to my life.
I'd say a low time this week was most definitely the fact that God has humbled me immensely during this time. And having to push through that was very painful and difficult to realize. I've been very prideful in how I dealt with some things and even the way I looked at situations. At first I was quite at odds with this and thought "Well no, I didn't do anything wrong in those situations." but even while telling myself that, I knew the wrong I had done was been prideful, even since then. One thing that constantly was on the forefront of my mind in the final parts of this week was the way Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciple's feet. My friend, Abby, and I were going to lead worship this past Thursday and we decided that doing this as a group together would be a good idea. It brought together an amazing feeling of unity for us and with that as a theme in my mind since then, it resulted in me taking some steps to taking down the walls of pride in my life and letting God humble me by following His voice. I can't say I like what my next steps in this are, as it takes humbling myself to others as well, but we don't live life to do the things we want. We're called to glorify God in all that we do, difficult or not.
It's been an amazing educational time here and there's always so much going on that it's hard to concentrate on a daily basis sometimes. If you could be praying for a better sense of focus for me, I would appreciate that. Also that God would continue to humble me in all the areas that I need to be humbled in and that I would keep having the willingness to follow where He is leading me and what steps I need to be taking. I have one on behalf of my best friend, who has just arrived back from her outreach yesterday and is quite jetlagged. Pray that she will be energetic and awake enough to fully participate and enjoy her last week here! :)
Love and miss you all SO much!!!
-Naomi
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
It's hard sometimes to get my thoughts together and focused to write something but I'm super eager to share what we've been learning here this week. We've been introduced to tons of scripture on the Fear of God and it's be such a learning experience going through it all together and having someone talk about it. I'd have to say a highlight from this week would be not having fear of men, but fear of God. In my life, I've often gone to other people on confirmation on what I should be doing instead of going to God. When I've felt convicted of doing something wrong, I've been afraid of seeking out God and instead I've gone to others and asked for direction, counsel, guidance. This week I've been practicing going to God for it and it's led me to making a ton of steps towards forgiveness and repentance towards others. When I've felt convicted of something, I spend time with Him in prayer or just waiting on His voice and it never ceases to amaze me how especially present He is in those times! This has probably been one of the most important lessons to me in my step towards healing. I'm learning how to focus on not being afraid of others judging me and what I do because the only thing I should be concerned of is if I'm honoring God in what I do. And it was that very thing that led me to making some super important decisions in regards to my life.
I'd say a low time this week was most definitely the fact that God has humbled me immensely during this time. And having to push through that was very painful and difficult to realize. I've been very prideful in how I dealt with some things and even the way I looked at situations. At first I was quite at odds with this and thought "Well no, I didn't do anything wrong in those situations." but even while telling myself that, I knew the wrong I had done was been prideful, even since then. One thing that constantly was on the forefront of my mind in the final parts of this week was the way Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciple's feet. My friend, Abby, and I were going to lead worship this past Thursday and we decided that doing this as a group together would be a good idea. It brought together an amazing feeling of unity for us and with that as a theme in my mind since then, it resulted in me taking some steps to taking down the walls of pride in my life and letting God humble me by following His voice. I can't say I like what my next steps in this are, as it takes humbling myself to others as well, but we don't live life to do the things we want. We're called to glorify God in all that we do, difficult or not.
It's been an amazing educational time here and there's always so much going on that it's hard to concentrate on a daily basis sometimes. If you could be praying for a better sense of focus for me, I would appreciate that. Also that God would continue to humble me in all the areas that I need to be humbled in and that I would keep having the willingness to follow where He is leading me and what steps I need to be taking. I have one on behalf of my best friend, who has just arrived back from her outreach yesterday and is quite jetlagged. Pray that she will be energetic and awake enough to fully participate and enjoy her last week here! :)
Love and miss you all SO much!!!
-Naomi
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
Friday, February 6, 2015
Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours
The Father heart. That was the topic this week. I can't remember a week that's been more difficult for me to push myself through. It's hard to put it all into words to communicate and for you to understand, but I do want to try, so that you at least get a glimpse into what my world was, and is, like right now.
I'll begin with the hardest part. We discussed heart problems. The first question God asked Adam and Eve in the garden was "Where are you?" It wasn't a matter of God not knowing where they were. This is the contextual question of where they're at, where they're coming from. The second question He asks them is "Who told you?" This is a question of authority, as in where did it come from? Who did they look to for the authority at that time? And the last question was this: "Have you eaten?" Which is the responsibility and stewardship question. God gives them the opportunity to step forward and take responsibility for what they've done, and instead they shift the blame. Adam says "The woman YOU GAVE ME." Eve says "THE SNAKE..." In both cases, neither takes responsibility. Adam blames God and the woman, and Eve blames the snake.
Having that as the base for our week (a look into the heart of mankind), we dove deeper into ourselves and had many discussions during class to get to our heart issues. They had theirs, and it never ends there. It continues to this very day. I went through a conversation in class as well where we looked at our families (context), who we gave authority to in our lives, and then learned how to have stewardship over that. We all come from broken lives, broken families, because we're all imperfect. And when things don't go the way we planned, it's never our right to turn it on our families and say "Oh, if they'd only been different," or "Well, they did this wrong," because Adam and Eve had the perfect Father and they still messed up to an incredulous extent.
See, we can go the rest of our lives blaming each other and trying to make sense of matters, thinking that if things were different, everything would change, but the truth of the matter is, that's not the case. We're all human. The human race is a mess. Sin corrupted us and blankets us with lies that surround us as we grow up, and no matter what happens, we will always have heart issues no matter what family we grow up in, no matter who we surround ourselves with, they will be there because our world is a world of dysfunction. That's not said to discourage you, but rather to encourage you because now we all know we're in this life together, to build one another up, to help each other grow and see past the brokenness that we've come to know.
I won't go into detail with what my heart issue was, because it's personal for me and I've chosen to keep that to myself unless I decide to speak it out to someone. My family in Christ here knows because they witnessed the speaker and I digging to the bottom of it and putting words to the feelings in the deepest parts of my heart, but I'm at peace with this somehow. It is something I will need to work through, and it's something everyone else here is working through as well. I've shed many tears today on this topic because sometimes the pain of looking into oneself after never having completely done that can be entirely too overwhelming for someone to bear. Please pray for me as I continue on in this process. God is growing me into the woman He desires me to be and even though I strongly dislike this process, it is one I'm willing to go through because I know it will be worth it.
I know this post is getting to be quite a bit longer than I intended it to be, but I'd like to share the highlight of this week as well. I am filled with joy. It's strange, I know, because of the turmoil that's been going on in my heart, but it's an odd mixture of these feelings that I have. My heart is being broken bit by bit, but in that, I'm finding myself relying on Him more and more every day. Something that has given me much comfort in this is a phrase I've come to love. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." It's this phrase that I 've carried with me this week. I find myself having a conversation with God every morning before I get out of bed. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I hate this, God. But do it anyways. I'd like to get this part over with, if You don't mind." Not your usual prayer, I know, but I've always been an honest person when it comes to my discussions with Him, so I'm sure He understands.
I've had many deep discussions this week with fellow students and staff. I honestly believe I've come such a long way from the lost, broken girl who arrived here 4 weeks ago. I've felt joy in my heart. I've felt my heart break in more ways than I can count, I've found a loving family in Christ who supports me and stands by me, and I've found even more evidence of God's love towards me. It is so overwhelming sometimes to see the goodness that He has in store for me and to feel His presence as I walk through the rougher days here. I've also been able to bring singing and music into life here and it's brought me more joy than I can even express in words!
Today we were given the analogy on how we are like a water bottle and God is like an ocean. We can only hold so much water, but He has an immeasurable amount. He created us to love us and have a relationship with us and He wants to be able to flow through us so much that we overflow with love that we pass on to others. Naturally, there will be brokenness, and the brokenness creates holes in the bottom of the bottle. But that is the only way for the water to flow out when it is being filled at the top. He pours into us, we pour out to others through our broken lives, and so the cycle goes. I like that a lot. It comforts me knowing that God is using my brokenness to pour His love into others lives. I'm starting to see it as a blessing. I think I may even be close to being thankful for it. Not quite, but I may be getting there.
Thank you all again for your continuous love, support, and prayers. One last thing that I need to say is that if any of you are feeling compelled to help me out financially while I'm here, please contact me on Facebook, Email, or even on here. I am still needing finances for my outreach and the date is coming up pretty quickly! You can help by...
1. If you have any bottles that you'd like to get rid of, let me know and I'll send someone over to pick them up. The money will go directly into my account and then get forwarded to YWAM right here in Australia.
2. If you're wondering what to do with all of that loose change, put it in a piggy bank over time and at the end of February, I would love to take it off your hands, if you'd be so kind. :)
Missing you all like CRAZY! Sending lots and lots of love!!!
- Naomi C. Friesen
I'll begin with the hardest part. We discussed heart problems. The first question God asked Adam and Eve in the garden was "Where are you?" It wasn't a matter of God not knowing where they were. This is the contextual question of where they're at, where they're coming from. The second question He asks them is "Who told you?" This is a question of authority, as in where did it come from? Who did they look to for the authority at that time? And the last question was this: "Have you eaten?" Which is the responsibility and stewardship question. God gives them the opportunity to step forward and take responsibility for what they've done, and instead they shift the blame. Adam says "The woman YOU GAVE ME." Eve says "THE SNAKE..." In both cases, neither takes responsibility. Adam blames God and the woman, and Eve blames the snake.
Having that as the base for our week (a look into the heart of mankind), we dove deeper into ourselves and had many discussions during class to get to our heart issues. They had theirs, and it never ends there. It continues to this very day. I went through a conversation in class as well where we looked at our families (context), who we gave authority to in our lives, and then learned how to have stewardship over that. We all come from broken lives, broken families, because we're all imperfect. And when things don't go the way we planned, it's never our right to turn it on our families and say "Oh, if they'd only been different," or "Well, they did this wrong," because Adam and Eve had the perfect Father and they still messed up to an incredulous extent.
See, we can go the rest of our lives blaming each other and trying to make sense of matters, thinking that if things were different, everything would change, but the truth of the matter is, that's not the case. We're all human. The human race is a mess. Sin corrupted us and blankets us with lies that surround us as we grow up, and no matter what happens, we will always have heart issues no matter what family we grow up in, no matter who we surround ourselves with, they will be there because our world is a world of dysfunction. That's not said to discourage you, but rather to encourage you because now we all know we're in this life together, to build one another up, to help each other grow and see past the brokenness that we've come to know.
I won't go into detail with what my heart issue was, because it's personal for me and I've chosen to keep that to myself unless I decide to speak it out to someone. My family in Christ here knows because they witnessed the speaker and I digging to the bottom of it and putting words to the feelings in the deepest parts of my heart, but I'm at peace with this somehow. It is something I will need to work through, and it's something everyone else here is working through as well. I've shed many tears today on this topic because sometimes the pain of looking into oneself after never having completely done that can be entirely too overwhelming for someone to bear. Please pray for me as I continue on in this process. God is growing me into the woman He desires me to be and even though I strongly dislike this process, it is one I'm willing to go through because I know it will be worth it.
I know this post is getting to be quite a bit longer than I intended it to be, but I'd like to share the highlight of this week as well. I am filled with joy. It's strange, I know, because of the turmoil that's been going on in my heart, but it's an odd mixture of these feelings that I have. My heart is being broken bit by bit, but in that, I'm finding myself relying on Him more and more every day. Something that has given me much comfort in this is a phrase I've come to love. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." It's this phrase that I 've carried with me this week. I find myself having a conversation with God every morning before I get out of bed. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I hate this, God. But do it anyways. I'd like to get this part over with, if You don't mind." Not your usual prayer, I know, but I've always been an honest person when it comes to my discussions with Him, so I'm sure He understands.
I've had many deep discussions this week with fellow students and staff. I honestly believe I've come such a long way from the lost, broken girl who arrived here 4 weeks ago. I've felt joy in my heart. I've felt my heart break in more ways than I can count, I've found a loving family in Christ who supports me and stands by me, and I've found even more evidence of God's love towards me. It is so overwhelming sometimes to see the goodness that He has in store for me and to feel His presence as I walk through the rougher days here. I've also been able to bring singing and music into life here and it's brought me more joy than I can even express in words!
Today we were given the analogy on how we are like a water bottle and God is like an ocean. We can only hold so much water, but He has an immeasurable amount. He created us to love us and have a relationship with us and He wants to be able to flow through us so much that we overflow with love that we pass on to others. Naturally, there will be brokenness, and the brokenness creates holes in the bottom of the bottle. But that is the only way for the water to flow out when it is being filled at the top. He pours into us, we pour out to others through our broken lives, and so the cycle goes. I like that a lot. It comforts me knowing that God is using my brokenness to pour His love into others lives. I'm starting to see it as a blessing. I think I may even be close to being thankful for it. Not quite, but I may be getting there.
Thank you all again for your continuous love, support, and prayers. One last thing that I need to say is that if any of you are feeling compelled to help me out financially while I'm here, please contact me on Facebook, Email, or even on here. I am still needing finances for my outreach and the date is coming up pretty quickly! You can help by...
1. If you have any bottles that you'd like to get rid of, let me know and I'll send someone over to pick them up. The money will go directly into my account and then get forwarded to YWAM right here in Australia.
2. If you're wondering what to do with all of that loose change, put it in a piggy bank over time and at the end of February, I would love to take it off your hands, if you'd be so kind. :)
Missing you all like CRAZY! Sending lots and lots of love!!!
- Naomi C. Friesen
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