The last week has ended and the beginning of a new chapter arrives with much excitement, anticipation, and even an amount of healthy anxiety. This past week has been filled with so many preparations for what we are about to set out on next week. There is a time of lasts, a time of firsts, and right now is the time in between. When things need to be packed and tidied, but at the same time, it's hard to do it when it means leaving this place we've come to know as home. A huge comfort is knowing that in ten weeks (they'll go by fast, I know), we'll all end up back here, two teams reunited.
This week we learned about worldview. The differences between them and how to see them. It was a hugely interesting topic and some of it conflicted with how I had grown up to see it, but it was in a really good way and I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to learn all of this. I can't really describe much about it because I'm still processing a lot but I enjoyed it. Especially the part when we got to spend our last lecture watching and analyzing First Knight to practice how we pick up on worldviews and such.
There's really not much to say at this point except that I'm honestly feeling much more prepared for outreach today and I have before. I've struggled at many points this week but I feel as though I've responded well to those struggles and I am 100% sure that God has so much in store for my team and I! Can't wait to head out on this next chapter!
I've already sent out a pre-update to those who asked to be on the emailing list. If you haven't received one but would like to be on the emailing list, message me your email address before Monday! Thanks everyone!
So having said all of that, the blogging chapter has officially come to a close. I'll be back in ten weeks! Farewell!
- Naomi
"So here's to plane rides and places and everything in between..."
Friday, April 3, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
I Am Free
Now normally, I write a blog entry and explain how the week progressed and what happened but honestly words cannot describe what went on last week. The topic was on spiritual warfare so it was quite crazy and got really intense at times. In the end, I loved it and it was probably the most impacting week that I've spent here, which is saying a lot since it's been 11 weeks now.
I'm late posting this entry because of how busy it's been, even during free time. My downtime now is spent preparing in so many different ways for the location that we are headed to. Different culture, different place, different values. It'll be an unforgettable experience that I'm looking forward to.
I decided to share my journal entry for this past week. Every week on Monday, we need to hand in a journal of our thoughts from the previous week's topic. It's super helpful for processing everything that comes in and I've enjoyed going about it in different ways throughout the school's lecture time.
I'm late posting this entry because of how busy it's been, even during free time. My downtime now is spent preparing in so many different ways for the location that we are headed to. Different culture, different place, different values. It'll be an unforgettable experience that I'm looking forward to.
I decided to share my journal entry for this past week. Every week on Monday, we need to hand in a journal of our thoughts from the previous week's topic. It's super helpful for processing everything that comes in and I've enjoyed going about it in different ways throughout the school's lecture time.
At the moment, we're in our last week of lecture phase and it is soon coming to the time when I will be off social media (ie. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) but if you'd like to receive updates, send me your email address! I'd love to add you to the list and share what we are up to!
Blessings and thanks for your many prayers!
- Naomi
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Life, Love, and Why
Relationships. Oh man, what a topic to dive into this past week. I barely know where to begin. We learned about friendship, family, dating, marriage. So many different kinds and approaches to relationships.
Monday was more so on the topic of friendships. There were a lot of tough realizations that came along with this lecture, as it made me realize that a lot of my friendships weren't as deep as I thought they were ad they didn't have the foundation in God that I really craved in my every day life here. I've loved having deep, meaningful conversations here when it comes to sitting down for a cuppa with friends. But I've realized that at home, even when I go out for coffee with a friend, or sit down over a meal to catch up, I avoid deepness. I share what's going on as though they're cold facts instead of getting down deep and saying "Hey, this is happening and I'm hurting." I also realized how one-sided some of my friendships have been. I assume it's due to the shallowness of them. Friendships need to have a deepness where we show our good and our bad sides. We need to be open and vulnerable in them so that they can see us at our worst and our best.
From the get-go we talked about how love is a choice. We choose to love a person everything. Not because we feel like it and then let go when the feeling is gone, but we choose to love the way that God has chosen to always love us. I made the decision to choose love and in doing so, I've found I have so much more love in my heart waiting to come out than I ever thought possible. It's God working inside my heart and softening it to others as I go along.
Tuesday was a lot about family. Breaking off from our families to build families of our own. How important it is to break off and cling to the person God had brought into our lives. This was really cool to get into as it was explained in a way that I'd never understood before.
The rest of the week centered on marriage and sex. Sounds crazy, but it was actually really helpful. It was an emotional week for me because of this topic and it really opened my eyes to things that I hadn't done right in the past, but I appreciated how deep it struck me because that showed me how much I wanted things to be different for my future. It showed me that I wanted my future relationship to be 100% God-focused. I look forward to it now because of this. We learned about God's intent for sex and things that lead up to that. How sex outside of marriage could lead to a lot of fear and anxiety which could lead a person to have those feelings whenever it came up, which is not what God intended at all. It was a cool perspective on it and I'm still processing quite a bit of it.
We had a workshop one afternoon on the topic of grief and how to deal with it. This struck me right to the core and I wasn't able to make it through the entire class. I made it through enough to know what I needed to, and had someone sit with me for a bit the rest of the afternoon to talk things through. I realized this week what grieving really was. I always thought that grieving meant you'd sit and cry for weeks on end and that you'd be wallowing for who knows how long. But I realized this week that grieving is when you live your life day to day and take each moment as it comes. When you feel like sitting and crying, then sit and cry. It's giving into the feelings of grief that come your way and not pushing them aside for "a more appropriate time" as I so often have done up until this past week. Knowing this, I can now finish grieving in the next few months in the best way possible, going to God for comfort. I'm in a good community, I've learned to go to God for anything I need, and I have a loving family and amazing friends supporting me from home.
The conclusion I've come to of this week is that I'm truly blessed for the relationships I have in my life and learning now which direction I'd like them to be in, I look forward to deepening them and getting to know people better. Love you all so much and missing you a ton!
- Naomi
Monday was more so on the topic of friendships. There were a lot of tough realizations that came along with this lecture, as it made me realize that a lot of my friendships weren't as deep as I thought they were ad they didn't have the foundation in God that I really craved in my every day life here. I've loved having deep, meaningful conversations here when it comes to sitting down for a cuppa with friends. But I've realized that at home, even when I go out for coffee with a friend, or sit down over a meal to catch up, I avoid deepness. I share what's going on as though they're cold facts instead of getting down deep and saying "Hey, this is happening and I'm hurting." I also realized how one-sided some of my friendships have been. I assume it's due to the shallowness of them. Friendships need to have a deepness where we show our good and our bad sides. We need to be open and vulnerable in them so that they can see us at our worst and our best.
From the get-go we talked about how love is a choice. We choose to love a person everything. Not because we feel like it and then let go when the feeling is gone, but we choose to love the way that God has chosen to always love us. I made the decision to choose love and in doing so, I've found I have so much more love in my heart waiting to come out than I ever thought possible. It's God working inside my heart and softening it to others as I go along.
Tuesday was a lot about family. Breaking off from our families to build families of our own. How important it is to break off and cling to the person God had brought into our lives. This was really cool to get into as it was explained in a way that I'd never understood before.
The rest of the week centered on marriage and sex. Sounds crazy, but it was actually really helpful. It was an emotional week for me because of this topic and it really opened my eyes to things that I hadn't done right in the past, but I appreciated how deep it struck me because that showed me how much I wanted things to be different for my future. It showed me that I wanted my future relationship to be 100% God-focused. I look forward to it now because of this. We learned about God's intent for sex and things that lead up to that. How sex outside of marriage could lead to a lot of fear and anxiety which could lead a person to have those feelings whenever it came up, which is not what God intended at all. It was a cool perspective on it and I'm still processing quite a bit of it.
We had a workshop one afternoon on the topic of grief and how to deal with it. This struck me right to the core and I wasn't able to make it through the entire class. I made it through enough to know what I needed to, and had someone sit with me for a bit the rest of the afternoon to talk things through. I realized this week what grieving really was. I always thought that grieving meant you'd sit and cry for weeks on end and that you'd be wallowing for who knows how long. But I realized this week that grieving is when you live your life day to day and take each moment as it comes. When you feel like sitting and crying, then sit and cry. It's giving into the feelings of grief that come your way and not pushing them aside for "a more appropriate time" as I so often have done up until this past week. Knowing this, I can now finish grieving in the next few months in the best way possible, going to God for comfort. I'm in a good community, I've learned to go to God for anything I need, and I have a loving family and amazing friends supporting me from home.
The conclusion I've come to of this week is that I'm truly blessed for the relationships I have in my life and learning now which direction I'd like them to be in, I look forward to deepening them and getting to know people better. Love you all so much and missing you a ton!
- Naomi
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Overwhelming Me
Another crazy week has come and gone and I'm totally in shock over this one. We just wrapped up our 9th week of the Holy Spirit being our topic this week. It was a pretty controversial thing to talk about as many came from different views on it, or even some had no knowledge of it at all. There were many times when I was confused on what was being talked about.
Honestly, it was an application week. We learned about the Holy Spirit, then we learned about baptism in the Holy Spirit. We got to experience the power of Him in so many different ways, it was incredible! I can't say I have a particular moment that stood out to me because all of it pretty much jumped out at me.
I'd have to say the biggest moment for me was when we had to give a presentation sort of thing on Friday morning. Our speaker said that the best way of learning was to teach. So she gave us the assignment of picking any chapter in the book of Acts, except for 1 and 2, to speak on. In one way, I was nervous. In another, I was absolutely stoked! I've felt a strange pressure on my heart whenever an opportunity to speak comes up. As though I'm supposed to take it. Normally though, I haven't. Sure there's been rare occasions when I have, but for the most part, I shy away from these opportunities. This was not something that could be shied away from. I'm an all or nothing girl, so it wasn't the question of whether I'd give it my all. It was more so that fact of when I get on a stage and speak without a script or a song, I stutter, I fidget, I shake, and my sentences come out in strange formations. It's not the same as when I'm writing.
When I got up there, I had already been shaking from nervousness and the first word out of my mouth was "uuuuuuh..." in an extremely awkward, unsteady voice. I took a deep breath, looked down, said a quick prayer in my head, and just went for it. I don't remember most of what happened except for a few funny moments that came with some unknowing audience participation. ("When I was younger, I used to be pretty sassy so-" "USED TO?!") What I chose to speak on was Acts 5:12-16.
"The apostles performed many signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon's Colonnade.
No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.
Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number.
As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.
Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed."
I gave my own testimony of healing from when I'd been prayed over at the age of 12. Since then, my health has been almost at it's peak and even though I still get sick like any normal person, I rarely end up in the hospital because of sickness. (I know what you're thinking... "Right... You only end up in there because of snowboarding accidents...") I shared of my own persistent faith on God healing me of sickness and allergies that kept me unhealthy my whole life. After waiting for two weeks after being prayed over, I went all out on the things that I was allergic too and sure enough, God had healed me. While I had been unable to gain and maintain weight during my childhood, I somehow found myself gaining more and more. This is my testimony of how God can heal. How the Holy Spirit can bring about a healing power.
I loved this week. Despite the controversy, the questions, the crazy hectic way it all happened, I loved it more than I ever would have thought. I learned how to step up and step out in an even stronger way than the previous week (Evangelism Week) which is huge because that alone was insanely big. I've definitely grown more comfortable with myself and who I am in Christ. I've learned that I can do things outside of myself and all it takes to get me there is God.
My laughter at everything has come back to me and it brings me so much joy! I've learned to laugh and find joy in even the smallest things in life again, a quality I used to possess but somehow lost in the past year. I've welcomed this back very much!!! The shy young lady who arrived here two months ago doesn't really seem to exist. I've practiced boldness, trust, faith, and so much more and I'm even amazed when I look into the mirror and find that I'm truly happy with the person who's smiling back at me. I never would have thought that a person could have things change so quickly, but through all the hard work that I've been needing to put into life here, I can say that it has been worth it. The fact that I still have 4 more months of this amazing experience that God has blessed me with has left me reeling with excitement.
The main thing I'd really like prayer for is for my healing process inside to continue. My emotions are something I've really struggled with this week and I find myself needing more encouragement than I've needed before. God has shown me a lot this week that I still need to be working on, but in that, He's shown me that it's okay to be where I'm at and that in Him, I will be healed in the right timing. It's a process. I'm okay being in the middle of it. I just need extra prayer and encouragement at times to keep me strong.
Thank you all so much for your support and for how amazing you've all been in my time here. To the people who have donated towards my outreach, you guys are AMAZING!!! I am SO thankful!!! And if you're still interested in donating, let me know! :)
- Naomi
Honestly, it was an application week. We learned about the Holy Spirit, then we learned about baptism in the Holy Spirit. We got to experience the power of Him in so many different ways, it was incredible! I can't say I have a particular moment that stood out to me because all of it pretty much jumped out at me.
I'd have to say the biggest moment for me was when we had to give a presentation sort of thing on Friday morning. Our speaker said that the best way of learning was to teach. So she gave us the assignment of picking any chapter in the book of Acts, except for 1 and 2, to speak on. In one way, I was nervous. In another, I was absolutely stoked! I've felt a strange pressure on my heart whenever an opportunity to speak comes up. As though I'm supposed to take it. Normally though, I haven't. Sure there's been rare occasions when I have, but for the most part, I shy away from these opportunities. This was not something that could be shied away from. I'm an all or nothing girl, so it wasn't the question of whether I'd give it my all. It was more so that fact of when I get on a stage and speak without a script or a song, I stutter, I fidget, I shake, and my sentences come out in strange formations. It's not the same as when I'm writing.
When I got up there, I had already been shaking from nervousness and the first word out of my mouth was "uuuuuuh..." in an extremely awkward, unsteady voice. I took a deep breath, looked down, said a quick prayer in my head, and just went for it. I don't remember most of what happened except for a few funny moments that came with some unknowing audience participation. ("When I was younger, I used to be pretty sassy so-" "USED TO?!") What I chose to speak on was Acts 5:12-16.
"The apostles performed many signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers used to meet together in Solomon's Colonnade.
No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.
Nevertheless, more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number.
As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter's shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.
Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed."
I gave my own testimony of healing from when I'd been prayed over at the age of 12. Since then, my health has been almost at it's peak and even though I still get sick like any normal person, I rarely end up in the hospital because of sickness. (I know what you're thinking... "Right... You only end up in there because of snowboarding accidents...") I shared of my own persistent faith on God healing me of sickness and allergies that kept me unhealthy my whole life. After waiting for two weeks after being prayed over, I went all out on the things that I was allergic too and sure enough, God had healed me. While I had been unable to gain and maintain weight during my childhood, I somehow found myself gaining more and more. This is my testimony of how God can heal. How the Holy Spirit can bring about a healing power.
I loved this week. Despite the controversy, the questions, the crazy hectic way it all happened, I loved it more than I ever would have thought. I learned how to step up and step out in an even stronger way than the previous week (Evangelism Week) which is huge because that alone was insanely big. I've definitely grown more comfortable with myself and who I am in Christ. I've learned that I can do things outside of myself and all it takes to get me there is God.
My laughter at everything has come back to me and it brings me so much joy! I've learned to laugh and find joy in even the smallest things in life again, a quality I used to possess but somehow lost in the past year. I've welcomed this back very much!!! The shy young lady who arrived here two months ago doesn't really seem to exist. I've practiced boldness, trust, faith, and so much more and I'm even amazed when I look into the mirror and find that I'm truly happy with the person who's smiling back at me. I never would have thought that a person could have things change so quickly, but through all the hard work that I've been needing to put into life here, I can say that it has been worth it. The fact that I still have 4 more months of this amazing experience that God has blessed me with has left me reeling with excitement.
The main thing I'd really like prayer for is for my healing process inside to continue. My emotions are something I've really struggled with this week and I find myself needing more encouragement than I've needed before. God has shown me a lot this week that I still need to be working on, but in that, He's shown me that it's okay to be where I'm at and that in Him, I will be healed in the right timing. It's a process. I'm okay being in the middle of it. I just need extra prayer and encouragement at times to keep me strong.
Thank you all so much for your support and for how amazing you've all been in my time here. To the people who have donated towards my outreach, you guys are AMAZING!!! I am SO thankful!!! And if you're still interested in donating, let me know! :)
- Naomi
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Ohana Means Family
Another week, another chaotic time! Sometimes I feel as though my head will fall over with so many new things being added to it. Thankfully, we're able to process with some of the staff members even during the weekend. That's definitely the time when application really sets into us. The topic this week was evangelism and it was probably one of the most difficult to apply, yet also the easiest at the same time. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
The beginning of the week went on like any other and the speaker, Emma Blake, always showed us a lot of quotes which I loved so much! One thing that was emphasized a lot was that evangelism isn't about us. It's about God. That is something I loved so much because it's so easy to get caught up in making this all about us and all about what we want to do. It's truly and honestly about God in all of this and I really have learned to be all in with what God's will is. It's about being selfless in the midst of a time when one would normally fall into selfishness. I think I've grown more with that than anything else.
On Thursday afternoon, we got to put our evangelism teachings into practice. It was a terribly frightening experience, going out into the city, but so freeing and it made me feel like I could anything God called of me afterwards. We all had a couple of days to listen to God's voice to see what He wanted us to do as an individual and then we had to gather in a group and see what God had for us altogether. One thing that I love to do is write spoken word poems. Normally what I tend to do is write them and then keep them in a folder for myself to read or look back on, if I ever do. However, after writing one at the beginning of this week, I felt as though God wanted me to be using it. I argued and fought against this reasoning my hesitation by saying "I've never done this before and I don't think I'd be good enough." After a couple of days, I finally had to accept that this wouldn't leave me alone so it was with great hesitation that I relayed what I felt God wanted of me. One person in my group said he felt as though God wanted him to drum even though he'd never done it before. So we paired up and while he drummed, I recited my spoken word, probably more powerfully than I'd ever be able to have without the boldness that I suddenly found myself gaining through Christ. It was truly an enriching experience that I will never forget! To me, it didn't matter if people stopped and smiled, rushed by, or gave me a funny look. What mattered to me was that I had done what I felt was asked of me, and it gave me a deep sense of fulfillment.
We found out our outreach location this past Wednesday! It was a crazy time for everyone. My reaction included screaming, sobbing, hyperventilating, and even some food coming out the way it went in. But hey! In my defense, I warned them that surprising me was a bad idea. I think some have learned their lesson with that. I'm unable to give the location away here, or on any social media, but I am able to say that it is in the Near East, which is what we refer to it as from here.
The past few days have been an absolute blur and I found myself in a state of panic over my financial situation, which hasn't looked completely well in the time that I've been here. I've had to humble myself on numerous occasions by asking for donations and continued support with prayer and funding. The complete outreach amount that is needed is $5200 and the amount I needed by Monday was $3000. At the beginning of today, I was quite a mess because I didn't have a single penny of that available to me. I had received $700 of donations but wasn't able to access it in time. By the time evening came, I had somewhat accepted the situation for what it was: I simply did not have the money for this and needed to acknowledge what God was possibly trying to tell me. However, having had a lot of confirmation to go on this outreach, I continued to have faith and pray for a miracle. Later in the evening, I was given the exact amount by three individuals. Of course, I am simply blown out of the water by this and can only take this as God providing for me in a way that I cannot explain or understand.
Something I believe played a huge part in this was how God revealed to me a time in Exodus when He was sending Moses and the Israelite people into the Promised Land, saying that He would send His Presence with them but would not go with them Himself. Moses had responded with "If Your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that You are pleased with me and with Your people unless You go with us? What else will distinguish me and Your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" (Exodus 33:15-16)
I found myself turning my voice to God and expressing myself in a way that I'd never done before. Admitting that if God was not for me going that I didn't want to go. That I only wanted to go if He would be with me. Walking outside of God's plan for me is something that would break my heart in a way it's never been broken before, I laid down my plans in this, my desires, and I opened myself completely to Him. I told Him that I was in this completely for Him and that if I wasn't doing this for Him and with Him, then I didn't want to do any of this anymore. Tonight it became about God and it stopped being about myself. I experienced selflessness, I witnessed selflessness in my team, and I learned exactly what God was asking me to do in order for Him to do what He needed to.
Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayers and donations!!! Currently, I am still in need of about $2000 and I am 100% sure that God will provide this amount. If you have any donations, feel free to contact my parents or shoot me a message or email.
Check out our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/444980748997745/?fref=nf
- Naomi
The beginning of the week went on like any other and the speaker, Emma Blake, always showed us a lot of quotes which I loved so much! One thing that was emphasized a lot was that evangelism isn't about us. It's about God. That is something I loved so much because it's so easy to get caught up in making this all about us and all about what we want to do. It's truly and honestly about God in all of this and I really have learned to be all in with what God's will is. It's about being selfless in the midst of a time when one would normally fall into selfishness. I think I've grown more with that than anything else.
On Thursday afternoon, we got to put our evangelism teachings into practice. It was a terribly frightening experience, going out into the city, but so freeing and it made me feel like I could anything God called of me afterwards. We all had a couple of days to listen to God's voice to see what He wanted us to do as an individual and then we had to gather in a group and see what God had for us altogether. One thing that I love to do is write spoken word poems. Normally what I tend to do is write them and then keep them in a folder for myself to read or look back on, if I ever do. However, after writing one at the beginning of this week, I felt as though God wanted me to be using it. I argued and fought against this reasoning my hesitation by saying "I've never done this before and I don't think I'd be good enough." After a couple of days, I finally had to accept that this wouldn't leave me alone so it was with great hesitation that I relayed what I felt God wanted of me. One person in my group said he felt as though God wanted him to drum even though he'd never done it before. So we paired up and while he drummed, I recited my spoken word, probably more powerfully than I'd ever be able to have without the boldness that I suddenly found myself gaining through Christ. It was truly an enriching experience that I will never forget! To me, it didn't matter if people stopped and smiled, rushed by, or gave me a funny look. What mattered to me was that I had done what I felt was asked of me, and it gave me a deep sense of fulfillment.
We found out our outreach location this past Wednesday! It was a crazy time for everyone. My reaction included screaming, sobbing, hyperventilating, and even some food coming out the way it went in. But hey! In my defense, I warned them that surprising me was a bad idea. I think some have learned their lesson with that. I'm unable to give the location away here, or on any social media, but I am able to say that it is in the Near East, which is what we refer to it as from here.
The past few days have been an absolute blur and I found myself in a state of panic over my financial situation, which hasn't looked completely well in the time that I've been here. I've had to humble myself on numerous occasions by asking for donations and continued support with prayer and funding. The complete outreach amount that is needed is $5200 and the amount I needed by Monday was $3000. At the beginning of today, I was quite a mess because I didn't have a single penny of that available to me. I had received $700 of donations but wasn't able to access it in time. By the time evening came, I had somewhat accepted the situation for what it was: I simply did not have the money for this and needed to acknowledge what God was possibly trying to tell me. However, having had a lot of confirmation to go on this outreach, I continued to have faith and pray for a miracle. Later in the evening, I was given the exact amount by three individuals. Of course, I am simply blown out of the water by this and can only take this as God providing for me in a way that I cannot explain or understand.
Something I believe played a huge part in this was how God revealed to me a time in Exodus when He was sending Moses and the Israelite people into the Promised Land, saying that He would send His Presence with them but would not go with them Himself. Moses had responded with "If Your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that You are pleased with me and with Your people unless You go with us? What else will distinguish me and Your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" (Exodus 33:15-16)
I found myself turning my voice to God and expressing myself in a way that I'd never done before. Admitting that if God was not for me going that I didn't want to go. That I only wanted to go if He would be with me. Walking outside of God's plan for me is something that would break my heart in a way it's never been broken before, I laid down my plans in this, my desires, and I opened myself completely to Him. I told Him that I was in this completely for Him and that if I wasn't doing this for Him and with Him, then I didn't want to do any of this anymore. Tonight it became about God and it stopped being about myself. I experienced selflessness, I witnessed selflessness in my team, and I learned exactly what God was asking me to do in order for Him to do what He needed to.
Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayers and donations!!! Currently, I am still in need of about $2000 and I am 100% sure that God will provide this amount. If you have any donations, feel free to contact my parents or shoot me a message or email.
Check out our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/444980748997745/?fref=nf
- Naomi
Saturday, February 28, 2015
The One Who Sees Me
The topic of the week was the Bible and everyone seemed to want to get into it so much more than before. We looked into strange stories, looked into context, and how strange it would be if we put ourselves in those same situations. You can believe there were a lot of laughs. Our seventh week has come to an end and looking back on what I've all learned in my time here is completely amazing.
What we talked about this week wasn't emotionally draining, for once. However, there seemed to be a lot of processing going on from previous weeks that caught up on me. I can't particularly pinpoint what made me a total mess this week, but it got pretty difficult. Honestly, I struggled a lot with feeling like God had abandoned me in the past. Knowing that isn't true and believing it in my heart are two different things. This came up a lot when I was reading about Hagar and Ishmael. Sarah's servant, who gave birth to a child by Abraham. She had called out to God saying "You are the One who sees me" and I felt like I couldn't speak that out for myself. I felt like He hadn't really seen me this past year. I know He's always here and will never leave me, but feelings are sometimes not related to logic and I still have a hard time tying the two together.
Honestly, I don't have a huge sense of what was a highlight and what was a low light. It all mixed in together and I have trouble differentiating. Something that was super amazing was that we learned how to go about studying the Bible and different tricks and tips. It became something that was super fun and exciting, even when I was really frustrated with God, as I was for the majority of the week. Something that I realized though later on and that someone helped me to realize was that a lot of my frustration stemmed from not knowing what to do or where to go in the next part of my journey. It was bluntly revealed to me that I needed to just stop thinking, stop trying to understand everything, and just let God do His work. I've had a really hard time with this.
On Friday morning, we studied the book of Philemon. How it was sent to a man name Philemon and that it was about Philemon being asked to forgive his slave for running away, his slave being the one who'd delivered the letter. It showed me a lot in the area of forgiveness. And it also showed me that if I ask for forgiveness for something and the person chooses not to forgive, that it's not my issue anymore. It's theirs. I do my part of reaching out, they choose what they desire, and either way I've done my part in bringing unity. It was super relieving and enlightening to learn that.
We have just five weeks left until our outreach now and you can bet the countdown is on! If you're wanting to donate still, contact my mother or father and they can help you out with that. :) Thank you all so much for your support and continued prayers. They are SO appreciated!
- Naomi
What we talked about this week wasn't emotionally draining, for once. However, there seemed to be a lot of processing going on from previous weeks that caught up on me. I can't particularly pinpoint what made me a total mess this week, but it got pretty difficult. Honestly, I struggled a lot with feeling like God had abandoned me in the past. Knowing that isn't true and believing it in my heart are two different things. This came up a lot when I was reading about Hagar and Ishmael. Sarah's servant, who gave birth to a child by Abraham. She had called out to God saying "You are the One who sees me" and I felt like I couldn't speak that out for myself. I felt like He hadn't really seen me this past year. I know He's always here and will never leave me, but feelings are sometimes not related to logic and I still have a hard time tying the two together.
Honestly, I don't have a huge sense of what was a highlight and what was a low light. It all mixed in together and I have trouble differentiating. Something that was super amazing was that we learned how to go about studying the Bible and different tricks and tips. It became something that was super fun and exciting, even when I was really frustrated with God, as I was for the majority of the week. Something that I realized though later on and that someone helped me to realize was that a lot of my frustration stemmed from not knowing what to do or where to go in the next part of my journey. It was bluntly revealed to me that I needed to just stop thinking, stop trying to understand everything, and just let God do His work. I've had a really hard time with this.
On Friday morning, we studied the book of Philemon. How it was sent to a man name Philemon and that it was about Philemon being asked to forgive his slave for running away, his slave being the one who'd delivered the letter. It showed me a lot in the area of forgiveness. And it also showed me that if I ask for forgiveness for something and the person chooses not to forgive, that it's not my issue anymore. It's theirs. I do my part of reaching out, they choose what they desire, and either way I've done my part in bringing unity. It was super relieving and enlightening to learn that.
We have just five weeks left until our outreach now and you can bet the countdown is on! If you're wanting to donate still, contact my mother or father and they can help you out with that. :) Thank you all so much for your support and continued prayers. They are SO appreciated!
- Naomi
Saturday, February 21, 2015
I Die Daily
Another week comes and goes. We've just
finished our sixth week and are officially halfway through our
lecture phase. It's been a crazy month and a half since I arrived and
I've definitely changed more than I can say. Which I'm very happy
about! This week the topic was about missions and it was super
inspiring. We all felt so excited every morning when it was time for
the lecture to start.
When someone hears the word missions,
they often picture some poor Jesus freak who doesn't have anything
but works for free. Or they think of the complete opposite. Someone
who gets money from other people but usually spends it on themselves
while working for the community they're in. That's generally the
picture I get. However, as we read through the book of Acts this
week, I found my view on it changing for the better. Our speaker made
it seem to come alive to us and inspired us in so many ways.
What consistently stood out to me was
the persecution that the apostles and disciples of Christ had to go
through while they spoke out on how they felt about their faith. They
were beaten, scourged, burned, crucified, and a number of other
things, yet when they were told to stop speaking, they responded with
“We cannot stop speaking on the things we have seen and heard,”
which completely captivated me. It really got me thinking on whether
or not my faith has been real to me if I'm not willing to die for
what I believe. Paul wrote that he “dies daily” and that phrase
is on my mind constantly even as I write this. At the end of this
week, we had a chance to respond to what God was saying in our lives.
I really felt as though I was being told “Lay down what others want
for you and look to what I want for you.” I was pretty shocked when
that came because I thought that in me coming here, I'd laid down a
lot. I think though, in a lot of ways that was only the beginning of
what God is wanting me to lay down for Him. It's hard to put into
words how this week made me feel but to put it simply, it warmed and
captivated my heart. I truly felt myself coming alive.
There were a lot of things that came
up, a lot I had to fight against this week. Spiritual warfare came
strongly in my life and I found myself quite sick over the past
weekend and the first couple of days of the week. Though I wasn't
sick with a flu or anything, I couldn't keep food down and walked
around like I hadn't slept all night, even though the reality was
that I'd slept more than enough. I had a few people here pray for me
and many from home also keeping me in their prayers which I believe
truly helped me out the most.
There was also a lot of talk about
forgiveness and repentance this week which threw me off quite a lot
because of how deep I found conviction truly goes. I'm someone who
feels convicted easily and the previous week we'd had to make a list
of what we needed to openly repent to God for and people we needed to
forgive. The repentance list was not a short list and the forgiving
list went deeper than I thought. On Wednesday, we all sat in a circle
with our lists and took turns praying out to God for forgiveness and
that we chose to forgive the people who'd hurt us in our past. This
was probably the most freeing thing I have ever done in my
relationship with God. To openly admit to past sins, turn away from
them, and then choose to offer the same forgiveness God gives to
other people, it has an incredible affect! I don't think I've been
the same since this day. My heart is full of more joy, freedom, and
graciousness than before. We were encouraged to make it right if we
felt convicted with something we'd done in our lives, and many people
made the step to that which was so inspiring to see and experience!
Though it was all very difficult to walk into, we came out with a
much stronger bond, knowing there were no secrets between us, but
also no judgement either. Just acceptance, love, and encouragement.
There's been times this week that I've
felt a little homesick. Sometimes I'll be listening to music and a
country song will pop up and I'll remember those times at home when
I'd speed down the roads, listening to country music, singing along
at the top of my lungs. Or when my Mama writes me “Oh, we're having
chicken noodle soup for dinner and then having a Netflix night.”
and I get a flashback to when my parents and I would be sitting
together just talking and laughing. I miss workdays with my Papa,
climbing ladders, using nail guns, lifting and moving things bigger
than my little body, not being able to keep paint off myself, and
sometimes even that terrible glue that would stick to my hands for
days. I miss dancing for hours on end every weekend, teasing my
siblings, sitting at the piano to sing and write, and movie/Starbucks
dates with friends. Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever
already and will I ever be home? Other times I sit in amazement that
it's already been six weeks and has so much really changed in my
heart?
Despite feeling homesick, God is at
work. A mix of emotions this week has really shown me that God is
stable, that He is the one thing that will never change when
everything around me does. He's a comfort. He's a strong tower.
Sacrificing what I need to in order to live and die for Christ is an
honor.
For those amazing prayer warriors who
come alongside my journey from home, pray against homesickness. Pray
that I can live in this moment and enjoy it for what it truly is.
Pray against spiritual warfare that is around all of us here. Pray
for the rest of my outreach money to come!!! (Still accepting
donations for those interested in giving.) I believe God provides and
answers prayers, so please be praying for that. :) That's all, folks!
“To live is Christ. To die is gain.”
-Naomi
Friday, February 13, 2015
An Undivided Heart
Woah! Another week has flown by. So unbelievable how fast the time goes by here. The weeks are going by insanely fast and it's hard to believe we've just finished our fifth week of lecture phase. I've been learning so much! This week our topic was on the Fear of God. We had the base director of YWAM Perth come and speak to us on it and it was a super challenging topic to discuss at times but at the same time, extremely interesting.
It's hard sometimes to get my thoughts together and focused to write something but I'm super eager to share what we've been learning here this week. We've been introduced to tons of scripture on the Fear of God and it's be such a learning experience going through it all together and having someone talk about it. I'd have to say a highlight from this week would be not having fear of men, but fear of God. In my life, I've often gone to other people on confirmation on what I should be doing instead of going to God. When I've felt convicted of doing something wrong, I've been afraid of seeking out God and instead I've gone to others and asked for direction, counsel, guidance. This week I've been practicing going to God for it and it's led me to making a ton of steps towards forgiveness and repentance towards others. When I've felt convicted of something, I spend time with Him in prayer or just waiting on His voice and it never ceases to amaze me how especially present He is in those times! This has probably been one of the most important lessons to me in my step towards healing. I'm learning how to focus on not being afraid of others judging me and what I do because the only thing I should be concerned of is if I'm honoring God in what I do. And it was that very thing that led me to making some super important decisions in regards to my life.
I'd say a low time this week was most definitely the fact that God has humbled me immensely during this time. And having to push through that was very painful and difficult to realize. I've been very prideful in how I dealt with some things and even the way I looked at situations. At first I was quite at odds with this and thought "Well no, I didn't do anything wrong in those situations." but even while telling myself that, I knew the wrong I had done was been prideful, even since then. One thing that constantly was on the forefront of my mind in the final parts of this week was the way Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciple's feet. My friend, Abby, and I were going to lead worship this past Thursday and we decided that doing this as a group together would be a good idea. It brought together an amazing feeling of unity for us and with that as a theme in my mind since then, it resulted in me taking some steps to taking down the walls of pride in my life and letting God humble me by following His voice. I can't say I like what my next steps in this are, as it takes humbling myself to others as well, but we don't live life to do the things we want. We're called to glorify God in all that we do, difficult or not.
It's been an amazing educational time here and there's always so much going on that it's hard to concentrate on a daily basis sometimes. If you could be praying for a better sense of focus for me, I would appreciate that. Also that God would continue to humble me in all the areas that I need to be humbled in and that I would keep having the willingness to follow where He is leading me and what steps I need to be taking. I have one on behalf of my best friend, who has just arrived back from her outreach yesterday and is quite jetlagged. Pray that she will be energetic and awake enough to fully participate and enjoy her last week here! :)
Love and miss you all SO much!!!
-Naomi
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
It's hard sometimes to get my thoughts together and focused to write something but I'm super eager to share what we've been learning here this week. We've been introduced to tons of scripture on the Fear of God and it's be such a learning experience going through it all together and having someone talk about it. I'd have to say a highlight from this week would be not having fear of men, but fear of God. In my life, I've often gone to other people on confirmation on what I should be doing instead of going to God. When I've felt convicted of doing something wrong, I've been afraid of seeking out God and instead I've gone to others and asked for direction, counsel, guidance. This week I've been practicing going to God for it and it's led me to making a ton of steps towards forgiveness and repentance towards others. When I've felt convicted of something, I spend time with Him in prayer or just waiting on His voice and it never ceases to amaze me how especially present He is in those times! This has probably been one of the most important lessons to me in my step towards healing. I'm learning how to focus on not being afraid of others judging me and what I do because the only thing I should be concerned of is if I'm honoring God in what I do. And it was that very thing that led me to making some super important decisions in regards to my life.
I'd say a low time this week was most definitely the fact that God has humbled me immensely during this time. And having to push through that was very painful and difficult to realize. I've been very prideful in how I dealt with some things and even the way I looked at situations. At first I was quite at odds with this and thought "Well no, I didn't do anything wrong in those situations." but even while telling myself that, I knew the wrong I had done was been prideful, even since then. One thing that constantly was on the forefront of my mind in the final parts of this week was the way Jesus humbled himself and washed his disciple's feet. My friend, Abby, and I were going to lead worship this past Thursday and we decided that doing this as a group together would be a good idea. It brought together an amazing feeling of unity for us and with that as a theme in my mind since then, it resulted in me taking some steps to taking down the walls of pride in my life and letting God humble me by following His voice. I can't say I like what my next steps in this are, as it takes humbling myself to others as well, but we don't live life to do the things we want. We're called to glorify God in all that we do, difficult or not.
It's been an amazing educational time here and there's always so much going on that it's hard to concentrate on a daily basis sometimes. If you could be praying for a better sense of focus for me, I would appreciate that. Also that God would continue to humble me in all the areas that I need to be humbled in and that I would keep having the willingness to follow where He is leading me and what steps I need to be taking. I have one on behalf of my best friend, who has just arrived back from her outreach yesterday and is quite jetlagged. Pray that she will be energetic and awake enough to fully participate and enjoy her last week here! :)
Love and miss you all SO much!!!
-Naomi
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." - Proverbs 9:10
Friday, February 6, 2015
Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours
The Father heart. That was the topic this week. I can't remember a week that's been more difficult for me to push myself through. It's hard to put it all into words to communicate and for you to understand, but I do want to try, so that you at least get a glimpse into what my world was, and is, like right now.
I'll begin with the hardest part. We discussed heart problems. The first question God asked Adam and Eve in the garden was "Where are you?" It wasn't a matter of God not knowing where they were. This is the contextual question of where they're at, where they're coming from. The second question He asks them is "Who told you?" This is a question of authority, as in where did it come from? Who did they look to for the authority at that time? And the last question was this: "Have you eaten?" Which is the responsibility and stewardship question. God gives them the opportunity to step forward and take responsibility for what they've done, and instead they shift the blame. Adam says "The woman YOU GAVE ME." Eve says "THE SNAKE..." In both cases, neither takes responsibility. Adam blames God and the woman, and Eve blames the snake.
Having that as the base for our week (a look into the heart of mankind), we dove deeper into ourselves and had many discussions during class to get to our heart issues. They had theirs, and it never ends there. It continues to this very day. I went through a conversation in class as well where we looked at our families (context), who we gave authority to in our lives, and then learned how to have stewardship over that. We all come from broken lives, broken families, because we're all imperfect. And when things don't go the way we planned, it's never our right to turn it on our families and say "Oh, if they'd only been different," or "Well, they did this wrong," because Adam and Eve had the perfect Father and they still messed up to an incredulous extent.
See, we can go the rest of our lives blaming each other and trying to make sense of matters, thinking that if things were different, everything would change, but the truth of the matter is, that's not the case. We're all human. The human race is a mess. Sin corrupted us and blankets us with lies that surround us as we grow up, and no matter what happens, we will always have heart issues no matter what family we grow up in, no matter who we surround ourselves with, they will be there because our world is a world of dysfunction. That's not said to discourage you, but rather to encourage you because now we all know we're in this life together, to build one another up, to help each other grow and see past the brokenness that we've come to know.
I won't go into detail with what my heart issue was, because it's personal for me and I've chosen to keep that to myself unless I decide to speak it out to someone. My family in Christ here knows because they witnessed the speaker and I digging to the bottom of it and putting words to the feelings in the deepest parts of my heart, but I'm at peace with this somehow. It is something I will need to work through, and it's something everyone else here is working through as well. I've shed many tears today on this topic because sometimes the pain of looking into oneself after never having completely done that can be entirely too overwhelming for someone to bear. Please pray for me as I continue on in this process. God is growing me into the woman He desires me to be and even though I strongly dislike this process, it is one I'm willing to go through because I know it will be worth it.
I know this post is getting to be quite a bit longer than I intended it to be, but I'd like to share the highlight of this week as well. I am filled with joy. It's strange, I know, because of the turmoil that's been going on in my heart, but it's an odd mixture of these feelings that I have. My heart is being broken bit by bit, but in that, I'm finding myself relying on Him more and more every day. Something that has given me much comfort in this is a phrase I've come to love. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." It's this phrase that I 've carried with me this week. I find myself having a conversation with God every morning before I get out of bed. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I hate this, God. But do it anyways. I'd like to get this part over with, if You don't mind." Not your usual prayer, I know, but I've always been an honest person when it comes to my discussions with Him, so I'm sure He understands.
I've had many deep discussions this week with fellow students and staff. I honestly believe I've come such a long way from the lost, broken girl who arrived here 4 weeks ago. I've felt joy in my heart. I've felt my heart break in more ways than I can count, I've found a loving family in Christ who supports me and stands by me, and I've found even more evidence of God's love towards me. It is so overwhelming sometimes to see the goodness that He has in store for me and to feel His presence as I walk through the rougher days here. I've also been able to bring singing and music into life here and it's brought me more joy than I can even express in words!
Today we were given the analogy on how we are like a water bottle and God is like an ocean. We can only hold so much water, but He has an immeasurable amount. He created us to love us and have a relationship with us and He wants to be able to flow through us so much that we overflow with love that we pass on to others. Naturally, there will be brokenness, and the brokenness creates holes in the bottom of the bottle. But that is the only way for the water to flow out when it is being filled at the top. He pours into us, we pour out to others through our broken lives, and so the cycle goes. I like that a lot. It comforts me knowing that God is using my brokenness to pour His love into others lives. I'm starting to see it as a blessing. I think I may even be close to being thankful for it. Not quite, but I may be getting there.
Thank you all again for your continuous love, support, and prayers. One last thing that I need to say is that if any of you are feeling compelled to help me out financially while I'm here, please contact me on Facebook, Email, or even on here. I am still needing finances for my outreach and the date is coming up pretty quickly! You can help by...
1. If you have any bottles that you'd like to get rid of, let me know and I'll send someone over to pick them up. The money will go directly into my account and then get forwarded to YWAM right here in Australia.
2. If you're wondering what to do with all of that loose change, put it in a piggy bank over time and at the end of February, I would love to take it off your hands, if you'd be so kind. :)
Missing you all like CRAZY! Sending lots and lots of love!!!
- Naomi C. Friesen
I'll begin with the hardest part. We discussed heart problems. The first question God asked Adam and Eve in the garden was "Where are you?" It wasn't a matter of God not knowing where they were. This is the contextual question of where they're at, where they're coming from. The second question He asks them is "Who told you?" This is a question of authority, as in where did it come from? Who did they look to for the authority at that time? And the last question was this: "Have you eaten?" Which is the responsibility and stewardship question. God gives them the opportunity to step forward and take responsibility for what they've done, and instead they shift the blame. Adam says "The woman YOU GAVE ME." Eve says "THE SNAKE..." In both cases, neither takes responsibility. Adam blames God and the woman, and Eve blames the snake.
Having that as the base for our week (a look into the heart of mankind), we dove deeper into ourselves and had many discussions during class to get to our heart issues. They had theirs, and it never ends there. It continues to this very day. I went through a conversation in class as well where we looked at our families (context), who we gave authority to in our lives, and then learned how to have stewardship over that. We all come from broken lives, broken families, because we're all imperfect. And when things don't go the way we planned, it's never our right to turn it on our families and say "Oh, if they'd only been different," or "Well, they did this wrong," because Adam and Eve had the perfect Father and they still messed up to an incredulous extent.
See, we can go the rest of our lives blaming each other and trying to make sense of matters, thinking that if things were different, everything would change, but the truth of the matter is, that's not the case. We're all human. The human race is a mess. Sin corrupted us and blankets us with lies that surround us as we grow up, and no matter what happens, we will always have heart issues no matter what family we grow up in, no matter who we surround ourselves with, they will be there because our world is a world of dysfunction. That's not said to discourage you, but rather to encourage you because now we all know we're in this life together, to build one another up, to help each other grow and see past the brokenness that we've come to know.
I won't go into detail with what my heart issue was, because it's personal for me and I've chosen to keep that to myself unless I decide to speak it out to someone. My family in Christ here knows because they witnessed the speaker and I digging to the bottom of it and putting words to the feelings in the deepest parts of my heart, but I'm at peace with this somehow. It is something I will need to work through, and it's something everyone else here is working through as well. I've shed many tears today on this topic because sometimes the pain of looking into oneself after never having completely done that can be entirely too overwhelming for someone to bear. Please pray for me as I continue on in this process. God is growing me into the woman He desires me to be and even though I strongly dislike this process, it is one I'm willing to go through because I know it will be worth it.
I know this post is getting to be quite a bit longer than I intended it to be, but I'd like to share the highlight of this week as well. I am filled with joy. It's strange, I know, because of the turmoil that's been going on in my heart, but it's an odd mixture of these feelings that I have. My heart is being broken bit by bit, but in that, I'm finding myself relying on Him more and more every day. Something that has given me much comfort in this is a phrase I've come to love. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." It's this phrase that I 've carried with me this week. I find myself having a conversation with God every morning before I get out of bed. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I hate this, God. But do it anyways. I'd like to get this part over with, if You don't mind." Not your usual prayer, I know, but I've always been an honest person when it comes to my discussions with Him, so I'm sure He understands.
I've had many deep discussions this week with fellow students and staff. I honestly believe I've come such a long way from the lost, broken girl who arrived here 4 weeks ago. I've felt joy in my heart. I've felt my heart break in more ways than I can count, I've found a loving family in Christ who supports me and stands by me, and I've found even more evidence of God's love towards me. It is so overwhelming sometimes to see the goodness that He has in store for me and to feel His presence as I walk through the rougher days here. I've also been able to bring singing and music into life here and it's brought me more joy than I can even express in words!
Today we were given the analogy on how we are like a water bottle and God is like an ocean. We can only hold so much water, but He has an immeasurable amount. He created us to love us and have a relationship with us and He wants to be able to flow through us so much that we overflow with love that we pass on to others. Naturally, there will be brokenness, and the brokenness creates holes in the bottom of the bottle. But that is the only way for the water to flow out when it is being filled at the top. He pours into us, we pour out to others through our broken lives, and so the cycle goes. I like that a lot. It comforts me knowing that God is using my brokenness to pour His love into others lives. I'm starting to see it as a blessing. I think I may even be close to being thankful for it. Not quite, but I may be getting there.
Thank you all again for your continuous love, support, and prayers. One last thing that I need to say is that if any of you are feeling compelled to help me out financially while I'm here, please contact me on Facebook, Email, or even on here. I am still needing finances for my outreach and the date is coming up pretty quickly! You can help by...
1. If you have any bottles that you'd like to get rid of, let me know and I'll send someone over to pick them up. The money will go directly into my account and then get forwarded to YWAM right here in Australia.
2. If you're wondering what to do with all of that loose change, put it in a piggy bank over time and at the end of February, I would love to take it off your hands, if you'd be so kind. :)
Missing you all like CRAZY! Sending lots and lots of love!!!
- Naomi C. Friesen
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Arms Wide Open
Another week of lectures has finished on this stranger weathered Australian Friday. My mind is once more in a frenzy as I try to piece together everything I've learned and it's strange realizing that it really is possible to learn a life's amount of lessons in a matter of months, but it seems as though that's what's been going on here. Lately I've been trying my hardest to communicate, really communicate, the things that I learn and walk through during this eventful journey. I don't think I've ever had to go through a more overwhelming process than the one I'm currently in.
The topic this week was on the character and nature of God and it has blown my mind. I'm not entirely sure where to start in sharing the experiences and difficulties I've faced this week, so forgive me if it's all a bit out of sorts!
I'll definitely start with the highlight of the week for myself. On Wednesday, my Emerge school group did an activity in our afternoon class of writing our name on a sheet of paper, decorating it a bit, and then sitting around a table and passing the sheets around to write a note of encouragement, a picture that God has shown you to share with this person, or a scripture of some sort. Anything that could be an encouragement to them. When I received my sheet of paper back, I was extremely overwhelmed with everything that everyone had written on it to encourage me! The following day, we again did a similar exercise with the addition of the Sports school group as well. Again, I received incredible words of encouragement from everyone. One note that stood out to me the most was this one: "There's an inner sunshine in you. Can't wait to get to know you better and see you shine!" This one spoke volumes to me as it was something I'd been struggling with these past six months. How could I shine again? I've felt so burnt out and just dead inside for so long. Sometimes it feels like I've forgotten how to laugh and smile, so for someone to see that and say that to me was a little strange. I've wondered for a long time how to step out and shine again the way I knew I could. It concerned me that no one really knew me and it scared me to think that what if these whole six months went by without anyone really knowing the sunny, bubbly, expressive me that I am? It seemed though that while I was questioning all of this, God was already working on something. He took something I'm passionate about and directed it back to me through music, showing me a lot of direction on the next step I should take. I noticed that God wanted me to step out more and put myself out there, so that He could begin using me for His glory. Of course, this is scary for me and I'm terrified of those dumb questions of "What if no one likes the sunny, bubbly, expressive me?" or "What am I supposed to do now?" popping up, because I know they definitely will. But I'll be fighting against those for the next while as I learn to express myself again, especially in a new community such as the one I've moved into. That was a highlight for me this week. Getting to know myself again.
Now the not so easy part. The biggest struggle. These past six months of my life, and even prior to that, I've learned how to turn off my emotions and numb myself to feeling things. I thought that was what was best and I thought that was the easiest route to take, instead of facing a lot of pain and heartache that come along with the experiences I've gone through. Along with learning the things I've learned this week, I've still been processing the things of the past week about vulnerability. Feelings come along when one becomes vulnerable and last week, I'd finished my blog post with not quite knowing how to go from knowing to being. (I didn't phrase it in those words, but that is somewhat along the lines of what I'd meant.) However this week, I have come to terms with it and it's a slow process of taking it one step at a time. It was a week of firsts as I expressed to someone how I felt about something, which I was terrified of doing, but in the end it strengthened our bond and made me love this person all the more. I went to someone for help with an emotional struggle I've been facing this week and found open arms and a load of understanding, as we talked and prayed together. Even though feeling again has unlocked a lot of positive things, it's mostly been the rough side of emotions that I've had to deal with. Because of blocking out sadness and heartache, I've had to invite those things in again along with the joy and excitement of feelings. I'm still in a place where I don't know what to do with the emotions I've been flooded with. Sometimes I laugh like a maniac because I'm finally able to and other times I just sit and cry because I have no idea what feeling is like anymore. It'll be a slow process of adjusting to all this unfamiliar weirdness. I never knew that I was really numb until all of this happened and suddenly it all flooded over me in this waterfall of icy water. It really is something I can't put into words.
I think the main thing I will need prayer for this week is just the ability to maintain openness and vulnerability with the amazing family I've found in these people. They're all loving, accepting, and eager to get to know one another, so pray that my heart continues to open up more with each passing day and that I would have understanding in other areas that God wants me to grow in. Prayer for patience is also something I would appreciate, as I'm a bit impatient when I know something is going on.
Thank you all so much for your love and support as I continue on this indescribable journey!
-Naomi
The topic this week was on the character and nature of God and it has blown my mind. I'm not entirely sure where to start in sharing the experiences and difficulties I've faced this week, so forgive me if it's all a bit out of sorts!
I'll definitely start with the highlight of the week for myself. On Wednesday, my Emerge school group did an activity in our afternoon class of writing our name on a sheet of paper, decorating it a bit, and then sitting around a table and passing the sheets around to write a note of encouragement, a picture that God has shown you to share with this person, or a scripture of some sort. Anything that could be an encouragement to them. When I received my sheet of paper back, I was extremely overwhelmed with everything that everyone had written on it to encourage me! The following day, we again did a similar exercise with the addition of the Sports school group as well. Again, I received incredible words of encouragement from everyone. One note that stood out to me the most was this one: "There's an inner sunshine in you. Can't wait to get to know you better and see you shine!" This one spoke volumes to me as it was something I'd been struggling with these past six months. How could I shine again? I've felt so burnt out and just dead inside for so long. Sometimes it feels like I've forgotten how to laugh and smile, so for someone to see that and say that to me was a little strange. I've wondered for a long time how to step out and shine again the way I knew I could. It concerned me that no one really knew me and it scared me to think that what if these whole six months went by without anyone really knowing the sunny, bubbly, expressive me that I am? It seemed though that while I was questioning all of this, God was already working on something. He took something I'm passionate about and directed it back to me through music, showing me a lot of direction on the next step I should take. I noticed that God wanted me to step out more and put myself out there, so that He could begin using me for His glory. Of course, this is scary for me and I'm terrified of those dumb questions of "What if no one likes the sunny, bubbly, expressive me?" or "What am I supposed to do now?" popping up, because I know they definitely will. But I'll be fighting against those for the next while as I learn to express myself again, especially in a new community such as the one I've moved into. That was a highlight for me this week. Getting to know myself again.
Now the not so easy part. The biggest struggle. These past six months of my life, and even prior to that, I've learned how to turn off my emotions and numb myself to feeling things. I thought that was what was best and I thought that was the easiest route to take, instead of facing a lot of pain and heartache that come along with the experiences I've gone through. Along with learning the things I've learned this week, I've still been processing the things of the past week about vulnerability. Feelings come along when one becomes vulnerable and last week, I'd finished my blog post with not quite knowing how to go from knowing to being. (I didn't phrase it in those words, but that is somewhat along the lines of what I'd meant.) However this week, I have come to terms with it and it's a slow process of taking it one step at a time. It was a week of firsts as I expressed to someone how I felt about something, which I was terrified of doing, but in the end it strengthened our bond and made me love this person all the more. I went to someone for help with an emotional struggle I've been facing this week and found open arms and a load of understanding, as we talked and prayed together. Even though feeling again has unlocked a lot of positive things, it's mostly been the rough side of emotions that I've had to deal with. Because of blocking out sadness and heartache, I've had to invite those things in again along with the joy and excitement of feelings. I'm still in a place where I don't know what to do with the emotions I've been flooded with. Sometimes I laugh like a maniac because I'm finally able to and other times I just sit and cry because I have no idea what feeling is like anymore. It'll be a slow process of adjusting to all this unfamiliar weirdness. I never knew that I was really numb until all of this happened and suddenly it all flooded over me in this waterfall of icy water. It really is something I can't put into words.
I think the main thing I will need prayer for this week is just the ability to maintain openness and vulnerability with the amazing family I've found in these people. They're all loving, accepting, and eager to get to know one another, so pray that my heart continues to open up more with each passing day and that I would have understanding in other areas that God wants me to grow in. Prayer for patience is also something I would appreciate, as I'm a bit impatient when I know something is going on.
Thank you all so much for your love and support as I continue on this indescribable journey!
-Naomi
Friday, January 23, 2015
Tears of Change
This week has been incredibly intense for me. I can't remember a time when I've cried as much as I have. It's been so overwhelming being here and having all these new things brought into my life. It's a huge change not only externally but internally as well.
The topic was Hearing God's Voice and Communicating with God. It centered a lot around vulnerability and that's where I had a really difficult time. It involved being open with the people around me and with God and even myself at times. There were multiple exercises about digging into oneself and listening for God's voice, which has amazing and wondrous results. I never felt more in tune than in those moments.
Honestly, the majority of this week was spent asking myself the question "Why am I here?" The things I had to walk through and am still working through went painfully deep and every time we'd come out of a deep thought-provoking and spiritually searching exercise, I always ended up in a pile of tears. My days were spent wondering what was happening and my nights were spent questioning what on earth God was doing to me. I felt broken and I can't recall a time in my life when I've had to face so many difficulties in just making it to class without breaking down or being surrounded by people every day.
I avoided as many things involving people as I could until I finally confided in someone that I was slowly shutting down, which is probably one of the first times I've gone to someone about that with the intention of getting help to steer clear of it. And it worked. I was in a dark spot and by pushing myself to my limit and surrounding myself with loving, supportive people whenever I could was actually surprisingly good for an introvert like me. And the encouragement I received brought me to tears, but the happy sort this time.
All week, I've felt in sort of a black hole in the area of my spiritual life. I've never walked through a healing process like this, and yes that's what I believe this is. I've faced every hurt area that I've had in the past year and even though it's still difficult and I still don't understand what's going on, I think it will all be okay. Waking up this morning, I laid in bed and again said "God, why am I here?" and I had this distinct impression of a still voice saying "Persevere, Naomi. You've done well. Keep persevering. Be strong. You're almost there." That was definitely a jump start to my day!
And that is honestly where I'm at. Still in the middle of this strange mess I'm facing but feeling strangely calm and patient with it. I would really appreciate prayer in this as I know it is only the beginning of a long and crazy journey. And with that, I'm signing off this entry. There's not much left to say other than what I've shared because I'm still in the midst of processing all of this and working through it. But thank you for all of your love and support while I've been here! It's been an adventurous and incredible two weeks so far!
- Naomi
The topic was Hearing God's Voice and Communicating with God. It centered a lot around vulnerability and that's where I had a really difficult time. It involved being open with the people around me and with God and even myself at times. There were multiple exercises about digging into oneself and listening for God's voice, which has amazing and wondrous results. I never felt more in tune than in those moments.
Honestly, the majority of this week was spent asking myself the question "Why am I here?" The things I had to walk through and am still working through went painfully deep and every time we'd come out of a deep thought-provoking and spiritually searching exercise, I always ended up in a pile of tears. My days were spent wondering what was happening and my nights were spent questioning what on earth God was doing to me. I felt broken and I can't recall a time in my life when I've had to face so many difficulties in just making it to class without breaking down or being surrounded by people every day.
I avoided as many things involving people as I could until I finally confided in someone that I was slowly shutting down, which is probably one of the first times I've gone to someone about that with the intention of getting help to steer clear of it. And it worked. I was in a dark spot and by pushing myself to my limit and surrounding myself with loving, supportive people whenever I could was actually surprisingly good for an introvert like me. And the encouragement I received brought me to tears, but the happy sort this time.
All week, I've felt in sort of a black hole in the area of my spiritual life. I've never walked through a healing process like this, and yes that's what I believe this is. I've faced every hurt area that I've had in the past year and even though it's still difficult and I still don't understand what's going on, I think it will all be okay. Waking up this morning, I laid in bed and again said "God, why am I here?" and I had this distinct impression of a still voice saying "Persevere, Naomi. You've done well. Keep persevering. Be strong. You're almost there." That was definitely a jump start to my day!
And that is honestly where I'm at. Still in the middle of this strange mess I'm facing but feeling strangely calm and patient with it. I would really appreciate prayer in this as I know it is only the beginning of a long and crazy journey. And with that, I'm signing off this entry. There's not much left to say other than what I've shared because I'm still in the midst of processing all of this and working through it. But thank you for all of your love and support while I've been here! It's been an adventurous and incredible two weeks so far!
- Naomi
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Insanity
This past week has flown by so quickly and yet I feel like I've been here for so long. It was more of a settling in sort of week for us all here. Learning the ropes of the place, about YWAM and how it came to be, along with the vision, and things like that.
Lectures started more towards the end of the week and although I know the word lecture sounds like it wouldn't be so fun, I find myself enjoying them so much already! The things we learn, the way it's explained to us, it's all in a way that I've never thought of looking at it before.
We learned about how God created us with the intent of having a purposeful relationship with us and how that theme carries through the Old and New Testament. In the Old Testament, we see numerous occasions where God wants to be with the people. Then in the New Testament we see how God comes to us through Jesus Christ and how He dwells within us now. The whole theme of it is how God just wants a relationship with us. It wasn't that the topic was new to me, I just had never noticed how much of a pattern had formed throughout all of the stories in the Bible. Satan seeks to destroy relationships and that's his motivation. Whereas God seeks to have a relationship and encourages us to have relationships with others.
We also learned about the role of the Holy Spirit in a disciple and the role of the disciple. This was probably my favorite of the two lectures and I especially loved how the speaker explained that condemnation was from Satan and others, while conviction was something from the Holy Spirit. Conviction moves us towards God, towards being a better person for Him. Condemnation makes us feel ashamed and move away from God and feel like we're not good enough. This, among many other things, are what has got me thinking quite a lot. And has made me reevaluate how I see the Holy Spirit in me. Not as someone taking part of me away, but someone who is adding to me and completing me.
It was a wonderful time of thinking for me and I especially loved the part about how the Holy Spirit brings with it a feeling of acceptance, belonging, value, etc. It's been hard on me to settle in here because I often feel like I don't belong, like no one will accept me, like I'm worthless. And I know that's not what the Holy Spirit is about. I live with an eternity of all of these things because I'm a part of God's kingdom. Acceptance by others doesn't matter, because I am accepted by God. I am worth so much in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.
The role of the disciple was what our role is to be followers of God. I liked this part a lot because it showed us a list of what we are to be if we're to represent God in the way we live. There were also ways to put off the old and put on the new. This for me was difficult. Not because I have difficulty with the idea of altering my life around for Christ, but because the list was this: Recognize and resist, Take responsibility, through confession and repentance. Forgive others.
Forgive others is normally really easy for me but in the past few months, I've had an increasing amount of difficulty forgiving one person for how they've hurt me and treated me. I know this process will take more time, but I know it's something I need to do. I'm willing to surrender to Christ and have Him change me and renew me, but this last step will definitely take some time and I would appreciate it so much if you all would keep me in your prayers during this time of renewal in my life. God is doing a good work! And He will be faithful to complete it.
Missing you all! With love,
Naomi
Lectures started more towards the end of the week and although I know the word lecture sounds like it wouldn't be so fun, I find myself enjoying them so much already! The things we learn, the way it's explained to us, it's all in a way that I've never thought of looking at it before.
We learned about how God created us with the intent of having a purposeful relationship with us and how that theme carries through the Old and New Testament. In the Old Testament, we see numerous occasions where God wants to be with the people. Then in the New Testament we see how God comes to us through Jesus Christ and how He dwells within us now. The whole theme of it is how God just wants a relationship with us. It wasn't that the topic was new to me, I just had never noticed how much of a pattern had formed throughout all of the stories in the Bible. Satan seeks to destroy relationships and that's his motivation. Whereas God seeks to have a relationship and encourages us to have relationships with others.
We also learned about the role of the Holy Spirit in a disciple and the role of the disciple. This was probably my favorite of the two lectures and I especially loved how the speaker explained that condemnation was from Satan and others, while conviction was something from the Holy Spirit. Conviction moves us towards God, towards being a better person for Him. Condemnation makes us feel ashamed and move away from God and feel like we're not good enough. This, among many other things, are what has got me thinking quite a lot. And has made me reevaluate how I see the Holy Spirit in me. Not as someone taking part of me away, but someone who is adding to me and completing me.
It was a wonderful time of thinking for me and I especially loved the part about how the Holy Spirit brings with it a feeling of acceptance, belonging, value, etc. It's been hard on me to settle in here because I often feel like I don't belong, like no one will accept me, like I'm worthless. And I know that's not what the Holy Spirit is about. I live with an eternity of all of these things because I'm a part of God's kingdom. Acceptance by others doesn't matter, because I am accepted by God. I am worth so much in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.
The role of the disciple was what our role is to be followers of God. I liked this part a lot because it showed us a list of what we are to be if we're to represent God in the way we live. There were also ways to put off the old and put on the new. This for me was difficult. Not because I have difficulty with the idea of altering my life around for Christ, but because the list was this: Recognize and resist, Take responsibility, through confession and repentance. Forgive others.
Forgive others is normally really easy for me but in the past few months, I've had an increasing amount of difficulty forgiving one person for how they've hurt me and treated me. I know this process will take more time, but I know it's something I need to do. I'm willing to surrender to Christ and have Him change me and renew me, but this last step will definitely take some time and I would appreciate it so much if you all would keep me in your prayers during this time of renewal in my life. God is doing a good work! And He will be faithful to complete it.
Missing you all! With love,
Naomi
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
The Questions
I've come to the realization that I didn't really have a set plan of what I wanted to be blogging during my time here. So I decided to spend some time alone in thinking of the direction I wanted this to go in and focus primarily on that. Most of the questions I receive while I'm here is "What is God doing in your life in Australia?" So in answer to that, I will be having certain questions that I come back to every week to communicate with you all exactly what God is doing during my time here. This will all be completely honest, totally blunt, and expressively from my heart to yours. I have four basic questions that I will ask, and at the end of every week, I'll be letting you all know how the week went by answering them, openly and honestly.
1. What has been a highlight of this week?
2. What has been the biggest struggle for me?
3. What has God been revealing to me?
4. How can I apply what I've learned this week in my walk with God?
Let me know if you'd like to know more! I can always add more questions to the list.
Thank you all so much for your continual prayers and support. If you'd like to donate still, I'd be more than happy to receive that as money towards my outreach. Get in touch with me on how you can help out! :)
Naomi C. Friesen
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Settling In
They spell "tire" differently. They write "tyre." I'd say this is the hardest adjustment, but not quite. Although it is quite high up there on the list. Yesterday was a bit of a struggle as I settled in, but not in the way that I'd expected. I expected emotional struggles, doubts, and just general uncomfortable feelings about being in an unfamiliar place. But I didn't experience much of that at all. I experienced so much joy in being in this new place.
We went to a beautiful lookout point that overlooks the coastline. You can see for miles on a sunny day! It was foggy out, so one could only see a limited distance, but it was still a breathtaking sight for sure. We went to the shops to pick up some necessaries for the stay here. Things aren't much different in that regard, but it's strange hearing Australian accents everywhere and I'm still in a state of awe whenever I hear it. The beach followed that afternoon and it was one of the most amazing things I'd seen yet. The waves are enormous, and I'm told they get to be quite large. The sand feels like it's kissing your feet as you walk in it. And the water feels incredible!
I settled in nicely though. All of my things were unpacked and organized in a matter of minutes. The only adjustment that I truly had a hard time with last night was trying to stay awake until 9 PM... Well that and thinking it was Friday, My body told me it was bedtime much earlier already, but of course, I had to force myself to stay awake until I was nearly dead with exhaustion. But I did get rewarded with a lovely night sleep and being awakened by the sound of birds singing in the rain.
Yep. I could get used to this.
- Naomi
We went to a beautiful lookout point that overlooks the coastline. You can see for miles on a sunny day! It was foggy out, so one could only see a limited distance, but it was still a breathtaking sight for sure. We went to the shops to pick up some necessaries for the stay here. Things aren't much different in that regard, but it's strange hearing Australian accents everywhere and I'm still in a state of awe whenever I hear it. The beach followed that afternoon and it was one of the most amazing things I'd seen yet. The waves are enormous, and I'm told they get to be quite large. The sand feels like it's kissing your feet as you walk in it. And the water feels incredible!
I settled in nicely though. All of my things were unpacked and organized in a matter of minutes. The only adjustment that I truly had a hard time with last night was trying to stay awake until 9 PM... Well that and thinking it was Friday, My body told me it was bedtime much earlier already, but of course, I had to force myself to stay awake until I was nearly dead with exhaustion. But I did get rewarded with a lovely night sleep and being awakened by the sound of birds singing in the rain.
Yep. I could get used to this.
- Naomi
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Sitting, Waiting, Praying
As I sit here waiting to board my flight to Sydney, Australia, I can't help but wonder "What was I thinking? Am I insane?" Everything up until this point has seemed unreal and now this is finally happening. After waiting for five months for this day, it's finally happening.
It didn't sink in for me until that last hug with my parents. I walked through the security doors and glanced once more over my shoulder to see them walking away, as I edged my way closer to the counter.
The question I've asked myself the most is "What am I doing?" The answer seems pretty simple. Right now, I'm sitting while waiting for my boarding call.
But I think it's also a question of "What did I sign up for?" because this is so unlike me to jump into something so unfamiliar. I have always gone where I've known something familiar. And this time? It's all new.
I have so many fears, so many questions, so many doubts filling my mind. But one thing that I've constantly had running through my mind today is the verse in Joshua 1:9. When the people are instructed not to be afraid, not to be discouraged, it is clearly followed with the statement that God is with them wherever they go.
This is the verse I've chosen to hold tight to at this time as I patiently wait for what God has in store for me. I'm ready for a journey that I've never had before. Not fully, but I'm as ready as I'll ever be. And for me, that's enough.
- Naomi
Monday, January 5, 2015
Prayers Filled With Power
The coming days until I leave are slowly lessening and I find myself wondering "What on earth was I thinking?" It's not that I'm not excited, and I have experienced adventures on my own in South America, but Australia seems to unfamiliar to me. It's far. It's distant. It's a stranger to me. I have the most exciting, life altering, unbelievable change waiting for me on the other end of that plane ride, but I feel completely unprepared and it could be that I will never feel fully prepared.
As I pack throughout the last three days and try to wonder what I will really need on a journey away from home for six months, it's begun to really hit me. Until now, it seemed like just some distant day that people asked me about. It's been a busy preparation period but it's not preparing that has affected me the most. It is the preparing of emotions.
It feels like I'm leaving the nest all over again. And the reality of saying goodbye to those amazingly fun work days with my father, jumping onto my parent's bed to catch up after a busy week, and fun evenings out with my friends. It's all happening so fast, I can barely keep up!
Many of you are still asking me what you can be praying for as I leave this week and I've made a list of sorts. Don't feel like you need to be praying for all of those things, but pick a couple that stand out to you or that you would feel I'd benefit the most from. :)
1. A smooth transitioning period for me. That I wouldn't feel the struggle of jet lag and that I would be able to adjust to the area that I'm in quickly and easily.
2. The fear of vulnerability. I am not someone who likes to open up to others about my life, but I know that in order to have God working in me fully, I need to be open about every area of my life. With Him, with the people He brings into my life, and even with myself.
3. Health during my time away. That nothing serious would come up while I'm learning or doing my outreach, but that I would be in complete health while serving God.
4. Homesickness. I am someone who is very attached to my home here because of the people who live in it. ;) Please pray that I will be distracted enough and that God and those people will become the family that I need.
5. Focus. When being away, it can be very easy to become distracted by the things that happen back home. Please pray that I will focus on what is going on in my surroundings and not dwell on the happenings of home.
6. Please pray that I will accept the change God will want to bring into my life and the ways He wants to work in my heart.
7. Pray for my darling parents who must let go of their baby girl and that they would adjust easily here with the silence of their home. ;)
8. Please pray for my financial situation, as I am still waiting for all of my funds to be here before I leave.
9. And last but not least, pray for God's blessing to wash over my team and I as we seek to serve God and His Kingdom in everything that we do.
Thank you all so much for your support and prayers and for walking with me. It is a huge joy to be able to finally do what I've felt called to do for so long! I love you all!
-Naomi
As I pack throughout the last three days and try to wonder what I will really need on a journey away from home for six months, it's begun to really hit me. Until now, it seemed like just some distant day that people asked me about. It's been a busy preparation period but it's not preparing that has affected me the most. It is the preparing of emotions.
It feels like I'm leaving the nest all over again. And the reality of saying goodbye to those amazingly fun work days with my father, jumping onto my parent's bed to catch up after a busy week, and fun evenings out with my friends. It's all happening so fast, I can barely keep up!
Many of you are still asking me what you can be praying for as I leave this week and I've made a list of sorts. Don't feel like you need to be praying for all of those things, but pick a couple that stand out to you or that you would feel I'd benefit the most from. :)
1. A smooth transitioning period for me. That I wouldn't feel the struggle of jet lag and that I would be able to adjust to the area that I'm in quickly and easily.
2. The fear of vulnerability. I am not someone who likes to open up to others about my life, but I know that in order to have God working in me fully, I need to be open about every area of my life. With Him, with the people He brings into my life, and even with myself.
3. Health during my time away. That nothing serious would come up while I'm learning or doing my outreach, but that I would be in complete health while serving God.
4. Homesickness. I am someone who is very attached to my home here because of the people who live in it. ;) Please pray that I will be distracted enough and that God and those people will become the family that I need.
5. Focus. When being away, it can be very easy to become distracted by the things that happen back home. Please pray that I will focus on what is going on in my surroundings and not dwell on the happenings of home.
6. Please pray that I will accept the change God will want to bring into my life and the ways He wants to work in my heart.
7. Pray for my darling parents who must let go of their baby girl and that they would adjust easily here with the silence of their home. ;)
8. Please pray for my financial situation, as I am still waiting for all of my funds to be here before I leave.
9. And last but not least, pray for God's blessing to wash over my team and I as we seek to serve God and His Kingdom in everything that we do.
Thank you all so much for your support and prayers and for walking with me. It is a huge joy to be able to finally do what I've felt called to do for so long! I love you all!
-Naomi
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